The Crazymomma Files

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Back Home July 21, 2007

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 2:32 pm
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Well, S is back home after all that has happened. I keep trying not to tell myself what a fool or how gullible I am. Does it make me a fool or gullible because I want my family together? Whether it does or not, here we are. I have one of two choices. I can either accept what happened,learn from it, and move on, OR I can keep wallowing in self-pity and drive myself nuts over what happened. I am not going to wallow in pity so I guess I have no choice but to move on.

I thought hard about how things would be now that S is back. Will we be walking on eggshells? Will things be awkward? Or will we move on like nothing happened? I just hope I can get past this. I have to, because if I don’t my marriage is doomed. Some would probably say that it’s already doomed. But I have to do all I can to try to make it work. I have to be true to my vows. And if in the end things don’t work out, I will know in my heart that I gave my all and my conscience can be clear.

The issue with the apartment worked out. B decided he would move in. I guess I can handle him being a few miles away. That’s better than being all the way in Cali. And this will prevent any more credit problems. Now, I just have to see if I REALLY want what I’ve been begging…