The Crazymomma Files

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Just blog… March 20, 2009

Filed under: General,life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 1:56 pm

Okay, we are settled back into our own place, which allows me to get back to work on my blog. While I had some off time, I started to think about the direction I wanted to go with this blog. It’s already been through some many changes, but sometimes I still feel like I haven’t found my comfy groove. As I read over some of what I’ve written, it appears that I’m all over the place with my posts.

My overall goal for this blog from the beginning was for me to have a place to channel my thoughts. This is still the case, it emcompasses so much more than woe is me journals, sappy posts about the kiddos, or rants and raves about the hubby. Surely there will be plenty of these postings, but I want this blog to also serve as a source of information. A guide. A place to meet kindred spirits and like minds.

So, as I once again find myself in this frantic state to make changes to something that may not need to be changed, I consider the notion that maybe my blog is just what I hoped it would be. Yes, the posts are random and all over the place. Isn’t that what resources are: various tidbits of information throughout a given place. Maybe I should just leave well enough alone. And just blog…


Aunt Flo shows her ugly face July 13, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 6:42 pm
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Well, it’s day 45 and my cycle finally comes. Although I’m not particularly happy about it, I am glad that something finally happened so I wouldn’t constantly be wondering if (and secretly hoping that ) I’m pregnant.

I keep wondering if I should close that door in my life. I lalready have three beautiful boys. Shouldn’t I just be happy with that? I mean, there are 16 years between K and B.  If I had another baby, B would be 20 years older, at least, than that one. With D being 12 years older. Not to mention the handfull that K is. Would I be able -and willing – to have to do all of this over again with another baby. The boys already take up so much of my time and we are comfortable. Would having another baby put us back into financial strain? I don’t know. I love being pregnant and I love babies. I love being a mother, regardless of how hard it is at times. Do I really want to start all over again – for the fourth time?


Attachment Parenting April 3, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 5:12 am
Tags: ,

I never knew it had a name. Growing up, my sister and I slept with my mom for years, well into grade school age. And we loved it. So did she. I’m sure she never knew there was a name for it either…

Attachment Parenting International states attachment parenting is about forming and nurturing storng bonds between parents and children.
There are 8 Principle of Attachment Parenting:
* Prepare for pregnancy, birth, and parenting.
* Feed with love and respect.
* Respond with sensitivity.
* Use a nurturing touch.
* Engage in nighttime parenting.
* Provide consistent and loving care.
* Practice positive discipline.
* Strive for balance in personal and family life.

My philosophy of parenting falls right in line with these. I guess I can say that I’m trying to do better the more I grow and learn. As the old saying goes: you do better when you know better…or something like that…

As I get older, I’m realizing my view of parenting has changed quite a bit. For one, I no longer like to spank my kids. That is a big change! I mean, if I am going to teach my children not to hit, how am I teaching them that by hitting them? Also, I never thought I would breastfeed. But I did breastfeed K and will breastfeed this baby as well. To add to that, I’m a baby-wearer and we also co-sleep. I guess one would say that I’m a card toting AP parent. And I like the sound of that. One principle that I am working on is responding with sensitivity. I’m a yeller and I hate it. I gotta find a way to change that.


SAHM March 20, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 1:46 pm

I’m home on Spring Break this week and during these breaks, I really enjoy the time I’m able to spend with my family and being able to do all of the things that moms do for their kids. During these breaks, I really start to wish that I could be a stay at home mom, or even a work at home mom. I really enjoy being able to teach K myself. I like watching his favorite shows with him. I like him helping me around the house. I like playing with him. I just enjoy being a mom. So I guess this means I really need to get busy on my photography so I can do just that. Stay at home with my kids and be a mommy to them.


If I could do it all over again… January 10, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 2:08 am

I would protect my credit rating. Many would probably think I’d say that I would not get pregnant if I could “redo” my life. No! My B is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He is the reason I’m the person I am today. I truly believe that part of my life played out the way it was meant to be. I mean, it wasn’t like I was being promiscious or anything. Heck, most of my friends had been sexually active for years. A few since elementary school!!! Me, I get pregnant the first time. But look at my B. After many said I would fail, he has never been to jail; he hasn’t made me a granny at in my 30s as a few of my friends’ kids have done to them; he’s going to college; he’s filming commercials and starting to live his dreams. How dare anyone doubt me!

But I digress. Along with all of the courses we are required to teach in school, why hasn’t anyone ever thought to add financial planning/credit courses. Learning to plan for a solid, stable, secure future is just as relevant to choosing a career. Had that been the case, maybe I would have thought twice before getting those credit cards in college that I knew I shouldn’t have gotten in the first place. Maybe I wouldn’t have neglected to pay my student loans. Just maybe I wouldn’t be 35 years old, trying to clean up my credit so that my family can live comfortably.

The photo for today is of my beautiful boys. This is why I do it all over again, each and every day!


Missed yesterday… January 9, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 3:41 am

…but back today! That’s what happens when you have to go to work outside of the home. I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM…I’ve always needed that independence of making a check to help support my family. That’s all I’ve known to do. Being that I had B at the mere age of 15, all I’ve known is self reliance. Which was alot of the problem with S and I in our marriage. Not that I do anything to intentionally insult his manhood, who I am is who I am. I have never been one to “shuck and jive”. Whenever I set my mind to do something, I do it. Hell, how many 15 year old kids have babies, graduate in the top 10% of their class, earn a college scholarship, and graduate with 3 degrees? Not too many. So I think I have a little something to toot my own horn about.

So, why is it that I’ve been entertaining the idea of wanting to stay home. Not like it could even happen now, but all the same. I just hated getting up and leaving my baby yesterday when I went back to work. Walking out the door brought back those nostalgic memories of when I had to leave him to go back to work after my maternity leave. My breasts heavy with milk and my heart erupting in more sadness than I’d ever felt at leaving my children, I sat in my car and cried my eyes out in the parking lot of my job. That time I know it was more of my hormones. But I don’t know why I was tearing up yesterday. I just wanted to stay home with my boy. All the more reason for me to get busy on my photography. Can I really make this happen?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I love how my 2nd graders laugh at my silly jokes. How they know the right things to say to make me laugh when my day isn’t going all that great even though I’m not supposed to let them know that but they know anyway because I wear my feelings on my sleeve. How they tell me they love me even though they’ve been scolded just a minute before. How they make drawings for me that I can’t for the life of me figure out what they are but I tell them that I love them anyway. I mean, I love my class. They are my kids too. Could I really walk away from this?

No pic for today…


Don’t let them rent space in your brain! December 31, 2007

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 4:37 pm

HHHMMMM….I saw an entry with this title on another blog and it got me to thinking. The blogger said that her father used to tell her this all the time when she let other people control her thoughts and emotions. As I think about it, her father was a wise man. Why do we let people rent space in our brains? We do it all of the time. When we let other people control how we act because we are upset or mad; when we let our emotions get out of control at someone because of anger; when we are so consumed with revenge for something…the list goes on and on. I’m resolving to STOP letting people rent space in my brain. I will be the owner of my thoughts, emotions, and actions.