Last night, the hubby and I got a rare opportunity to go out. WITHOUT THE KIDS! I never knew that I’d end the night reliving my college years – hugging the porcelain goddess. I guess we were so excited that we overdid it with our drinks. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
It all began with us deciding we wanted to go out and Aunt Bell actually agreeing to babysitting Kyndal. Well, let me rephrase that. Kyndal actually agreeing to STAY at Aunt Bell’s. We thought that we would probably end up at a club so we thought we’d have a drink at home instead of spending so much money on watered down drinks when we got there. Seon makes us some stiff Crown and Cokes. Anyone who knows how my husband makes drinks knows when I say stiff, I mean stiff. That there was my first mistake. I’m usually a Cosmo kind of girl. But I sip it as I primp and get dressed. At first Seon was the designated driver, so he was done drinking for the night. We picked up our good friend, Nikki, and then it was decided that she’d be the designated driver since the electrical system is giving us problems and one of the windows on our car won’t go all the way up. That changed the whole playing field for Seon. He was getting a reprieve from his usual driving assignment.
So we drop our car at home, Seon makes another drink for us to share. This one much larger and stiffer than the previous one he’d made for me. But I was loose by now and instead of sipping this drink as I’d done earlier, I must have chug-a-lugged it because before long my light buzz was a full fledged head rush. As we head out, we had to stop to pick up Jr., Nikki’s husband from the recording studio. For some reason, we have to come back to our house. Good thing we did and good thing that we were only about 2 miles away. Suddenly I felt the urge to go potty really bad. As we pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of the car and made it to the door just as Seon was getting it opened. I rushed to the bathroom and took care of my business. As I started to walk out I felt my stomach jerk and knot up. I sat on my bed trying to collect myself. But that wasn’t happening. I jumped up and made it to the toilet just as the acidic contents of my belly came spewing out of my mouth. I sat there for a minute trying to let it pass so that I could go on with my night. Again, that wasn’t happening. I hugged the toilet as my stomach heaved violently, trying to rid my body of the poison. That’s where I was sitting when Seon walked in to see what was taking me so long. I mumbled for him to go ahead and enjoy himself.
And that’s where I was still sitting approximately an hour later when he stumbled back in the door asking me to move over. I tried again for about the fifth time to crawl to my bed but my body wasn’t happy anywhere else but on that bathroom floor with my head hanging inside the toilet. Good thing I’d just cleaned it earlier that morning. My poor husband rushes to the boys’ bathroom and that’s where he stayed until Bryson came home about 30-45 minutes later and wanted to take a shower. He drags himself back into our bathroom. By now I’m feeling a little bit better. We both look at each other and crack up. Seon decides that Bryson should go get us food. He makes a cell to cell call which brings Bryson to the bathroom door which he opens and finds both of his parents sprawled on the floor. He laughs, threatens to get his camera so he could potentially blackmail us, and then agrees to go get us food. And pick Kyndal up from the babysitter which his pathetic parents were unable to do because we were ineberated. Not more than 30 minutes later I was sitting comfortably in my bed, eating tacos and burritos from Taco Bueno. As I said, I never knew I’d end the night reliving my college years. Before long, my stomach was jerking and twisting again. So I rolled myself out of bed, dragged my self on my hands and knees back to my warm spot, and sat hugging that ole porcelain goddess for the better part of the night. The only positive thing about this whole situation is that I woke up and didn’t have a hangover. So next time, if there is a next time, I will gladly accept the bartender’s watered down drink.