The Crazymomma Files

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Why do some co-workers just plain don’t give a damn? January 12, 2008

Filed under: Life - Mood: Moody — Flickerchic @ 2:00 am

Get to work again today, wouldn’t you know it, Mc isn’t there again today! We just got back to work this week and she’s already been out 2 days. Come on! At least, have some respect for your teammates. Of course, we have to split her class, which meant our class did nothing. I feel so sorry for her kids. She’s really doing them a disservice. And she wonders why parents keep asking to have their kids removed from her class. She promised us that she would be at work and turn her lesson plans in on time now since she’s done with school. Bunch of bull! I love her to death as a person, but her work ethics suck and quite honestly, I’m fed up with it. She doesn’t care about anyone but herself.

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If I could do it all over again… January 10, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 2:08 am


I would protect my credit rating. Many would probably think I’d say that I would not get pregnant if I could “redo” my life. No! My B is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. He is the reason I’m the person I am today. I truly believe that part of my life played out the way it was meant to be. I mean, it wasn’t like I was being promiscious or anything. Heck, most of my friends had been sexually active for years. A few since elementary school!!! Me, I get pregnant the first time. But look at my B. After many said I would fail, he has never been to jail; he hasn’t made me a granny at in my 30s as a few of my friends’ kids have done to them; he’s going to college; he’s filming commercials and starting to live his dreams. How dare anyone doubt me!

But I digress. Along with all of the courses we are required to teach in school, why hasn’t anyone ever thought to add financial planning/credit courses. Learning to plan for a solid, stable, secure future is just as relevant to choosing a career. Had that been the case, maybe I would have thought twice before getting those credit cards in college that I knew I shouldn’t have gotten in the first place. Maybe I wouldn’t have neglected to pay my student loans. Just maybe I wouldn’t be 35 years old, trying to clean up my credit so that my family can live comfortably.

The photo for today is of my beautiful boys. This is why I do it all over again, each and every day!

 

Missed yesterday… January 9, 2008

Filed under: life - Mood: Contemplative — Flickerchic @ 3:41 am

…but back today! That’s what happens when you have to go to work outside of the home. I never thought I’d want to be a SAHM…I’ve always needed that independence of making a check to help support my family. That’s all I’ve known to do. Being that I had B at the mere age of 15, all I’ve known is self reliance. Which was alot of the problem with S and I in our marriage. Not that I do anything to intentionally insult his manhood, who I am is who I am. I have never been one to “shuck and jive”. Whenever I set my mind to do something, I do it. Hell, how many 15 year old kids have babies, graduate in the top 10% of their class, earn a college scholarship, and graduate with 3 degrees? Not too many. So I think I have a little something to toot my own horn about.

So, why is it that I’ve been entertaining the idea of wanting to stay home. Not like it could even happen now, but all the same. I just hated getting up and leaving my baby yesterday when I went back to work. Walking out the door brought back those nostalgic memories of when I had to leave him to go back to work after my maternity leave. My breasts heavy with milk and my heart erupting in more sadness than I’d ever felt at leaving my children, I sat in my car and cried my eyes out in the parking lot of my job. That time I know it was more of my hormones. But I don’t know why I was tearing up yesterday. I just wanted to stay home with my boy. All the more reason for me to get busy on my photography. Can I really make this happen?

Don’t get me wrong. I love my job. I love how my 2nd graders laugh at my silly jokes. How they know the right things to say to make me laugh when my day isn’t going all that great even though I’m not supposed to let them know that but they know anyway because I wear my feelings on my sleeve. How they tell me they love me even though they’ve been scolded just a minute before. How they make drawings for me that I can’t for the life of me figure out what they are but I tell them that I love them anyway. I mean, I love my class. They are my kids too. Could I really walk away from this?

No pic for today…

 

I DON’T WANNA GO BACK TO WORK! January 7, 2008

Filed under: Life - Mood: Dreadful — Flickerchic @ 2:02 am


One would think that I’d be ready to go back to work after sitting around for 2 weeks doing nothing. Well, I’m not! I’ve gotten so caught up in my photography that I’m dreading going back to my little snot nosed kiddos. Of course I miss their smiling faces, but I don’t wanna go yet. I need another day. Yeah right, and then I be saying I need another day. But it’s all down hill from here.

I really don’t have much to blog about today. I didn’t do anything but laundry and sat around watching a Law & Order marathon. I didn’t even hang out at Cafemom much today. I don’t know if I’m outgrowing it already, but I’m not getting what I need there much anymore. The main reason I went there was to get help with improving my photography skills, but I can’t seem to get much response to my photos anymore. There are a few people there that I can count on to give my some feedback, but I just feel like I need more. I will enroll in some courses this summer. In the meantime, I will just keep exploring and clicking. I sent photos to mom, Tonya, MIL, Sheila, and Tanisha to critique for me. Mom said they were great and that I should go for it! Thanks, Mom!

Photo for the day is attached. I finally found one of D in all of the shots that we did that I could use. He just refuses to smile in his pictures and he has a beautiful smile.

OH YEAH! I FORGOT TO BLOG LAST NIGHT ABOUT MY CRAZY A** BROTHER, BRASHAWN. However, I have to get K bathed right now and get ready for tomorrow. If I have time I will update tonight. If not, I will get into that tomorrow.

 

UNTITLED January 6, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Flickerchic @ 12:00 am

Well, yesterday past without any update to the files. There’s really no reason for it because I wasn’t doing anything…other than, yes you know it, hanging out at Cafemom. I really do have a life, but I told myself that I would do nothing during my holiday break. And guess what, I didn’t. It will all end too soon.

Today we met with Paul about the house we are trying to buy. I am not going to get too excite about this because I’m tired of getting excited only to be let down in the end. I really don’t see how this could happen since the issue with the other house was only a year and a half ago. I’m trying to be positive for S because he is excite and I don’t want to pull him down. He keeps telling me to be optimistic. I’m just being realisitic. We should be hearing something from Paul Monday or Tuesday. I hate this. I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THIS APARTMENT THOUGH!

I had something that I wanted to post yesterday, but for the life of me I can’t think of what it was. Guess I will update later if I think of it.

 

Made it! January 4, 2008

Filed under: Life - Mood: Tired — Flickerchic @ 5:49 am


I didn’t think I was going to make it in time to get a post for today, but I did. All of my time has been spent online, mostly on Cafemom, trying to perfect my photography skills. I am really enjoying this. Looks like I found a hobby that I really enjoy doing and can get into. I shot photos (look at that, even starting to use photographers’ terms…)of K and D. K gave me plenty to work with because we know, of course, that he is a ham for the camera. D used to be when he was smaller, but he is a bit withdrawn now in photos. Can’t get him to smile to save my life…or his. 😀 The photo that is included with this post is one that I did of K today. I am working on editing D’s and will post tomorrow – AFTER we have another sitting!

Maybe I will be able to put an end to my sleep deprivation once I go back to my real job. As for now, I am living and breathing photography. I even had a nightmare about it the 3 hours that I was able to sleep last night. Some people might say that I need to get a life. S is probably hating that he bought this camera now. But when I start making money with it, then he will be singing a different tune.

 

Photo editing… January 2, 2008

Filed under: Uncategorized — Flickerchic @ 6:37 pm


…is addictive! Since I’ve gotten editing software, all I do is stay online messing with pictures. This camera is consuming my life! LOL This photo is my latest creation, my Love Bug looking all sexy with his guitar. I’ve been trying to get this done for 2 days and finally finished it this morning. Photoshop is not the most user-friendly software.

Something to think about…the name of my business. Here are some that I’m throwing around: K. Walker Photography, Kat Walk Photography, Kat Walker Photography, Photography by Tina, Tina’s Photography. Here are my issues with them all: K. Walker Photography – what I’ve been using but it’s too plain and doesn’t flow; Kat Walk Photography – my favorite, but someone on my photography board brought up the fact that people could mistake it for a modeling photography studio; Kat Walker Photography – one I was considering until someone else on the photography board mentioned that it sounds like it would deal with animal photography; Photography by Tina – now I’m liking the look and sound of that now that I’m writing (typing it) and saying it out loud. It flows, sounds semi-professional, kind of catchy, and it’s more personal using my name; Tina’s Photography – I don’t feel one way or the other about this one. It hasn’t grown on me and it sounds kind of plain when I say it outloud. Well, instead of just thinking about it, it looks like I’ve made up my mind. Photography by Tina is what it will be. Now I need to find some kind of logo and make a banner…Looks like I have a summer gig in the works…

THINGS TO DO:
1) Make business cards.
2) Make brochures.
3) Add photos to portfolio.