The Crazymomma Files

The GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY

Obsession… January 12, 2008

Filed under: Life - Mood: Unsure — Flickerchic @ 8:55 am

Why are so many of us, especially women, obsessed with our body images? Well, I know ALOT of it has to do with the images that we see that are plastered in front of us on a daily basis of women with the ideal body…whatever our vision of ideal is. Why do we as women, present company included, subject ourselves to all of the pressures of trying to transform ourselves into a model of perfection that we will never reach or be satisfied with? Why do we put so much effort into this when there is only ONE who is perfect?

People who don’t know me personally would probably be astonished that I’m even mentioning this topic. I’m 5’7″, 115 lbs, and a size 3/4. What do I have to complain about you ask? I’m too skinny! All of my life I’ve been skinny. For as long as I can remember I’ve tried everything that I can think of to gain weight; everything from stuffing myself beyond the point that I could tolerate it, shelling out money on Ensure and Boost, the high calorie smoothies, and even the old wives’ tale of eating and lying down afterwards. Nothing worked.

After having K in 2005, I was the largest I’d ever been, I’d finally gotten up to a size 12/14. I was loving my womanly hips and curves. My self-esteem was higher and I felt better about myself. But my newfound self-acceptance was short lived. Almost 2 years later, I lost it all in a matter of months. I wasn’t doing anything different, wasn’t eating differently or hadn’t become any more active than I’d already been. My body simply returned to its normal state. Needless to say, I was distraught over this and continue to struggle with my body image.

Why can’t we just be happy in our own skin? Why is it so hard to just accept who God, the only perfect being, made us to be? Why are we so consumed with being someone we are not meant to be? When and where does the madness end? Why can’t I just accept me for me and be happy with me?

Photo…my beautiful sister…who is so happy in her own skin…


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