Can it be? March 24, 2008

Okay, a few days ago, S and I were talking when all of a sudden he stopped talking and looked at me. Then he blurted out, “Your belly sure looks big!” I instantly grabbed my tummy by instinct and looked down at the little pouch that was definitely noticeable. I was shocked that he’d said it because a few days before I’d had a weird feeling rush through my body. I was about to take a shower so I hurried and stipped out of my clothes to do a mirror observation of myself to see if there were any new curves there that hadn’t been there before. I thought I looked a little rounder but attributed it to my newly developed appetite. I put my pointer and index finger in the hollow space of my neck to feel the beats there and quickly drew my hand back. I peeked out the bathroom door to make sure S wasn’t paying me any attention and then got back in my spot in front of the mirror and repeated my pulse check. I felt the same…one steady, consistent “THUMP…..THUMP…..THUMP….and then a second “THUMP..THUMP..THUMP..THUMP..THUMP.” Then today…S and I were sitting in bed; him playing his PSP and me, of course on the internet. Then this thought came to me. When was the last time that I had my cycle? I’m sure it was on the 16th because I remember sketching a mental note to myself to help myself remember (in the event I have to go to the doctor or something.) It’s an old habit. Anyway, these thoughts just kept coming to me. If it was the 16th, it had to be the 16th of February because the 16th of March was just last week and I definitely wasn’t on my cycle last week. Was it really the 16th of February or am I confusing the 16th with the cycle I had in January and did I really have my last cycle at the end of February? No…I’m sure my last cycle was on the 16th. I vividly remember sitting on the toilet and wiping…(I know…TMI, but as the subnote in the title of my blog reads, it’s the good, the bad, AND THE UGLY…I guess this is part of the ugly. But I digress…I remember doing that and realizing that I needed to make a trip to Wal-Mart to stock up on sanitary supplies and we were here in the house. On January 16th we were still at Meme’s waiting on the lights to be turned on in the house and I know I wasn’t on my cycle then. I was going to wait until time for my cycle again before I ran out and bought a test, but if this is the case, that time has come and gone! Suddenly I felt myself slowly starting to perspire across my forehead. If you haven’t gotten where I’m going with this by now, could I be pr…pr…I can’t even make myself type the word! Could I be….PREGNANT???? Oh my!!! If I am, can I go through another K? He is truly a different kind of kid. Can I deal with two of him? S says if I am, hopefully it will be a girl and she will be calmer. Does he know that girls are nothing but DRAMA???? I know! I was one! Still am…